


this is home

by onedancingprince



Category: Re:ゼロから始める異世界生活 | Re:Zero Starting Life in Another World (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Coming Out, Fluff, In a way, Self-Indulgent, Trans Male Character, Trans Natsuki Subaru, because I said so, just a bit tho, to an extreme amount, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 19:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30060507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onedancingprince/pseuds/onedancingprince
Summary: beatrice was the first one he told, of course. he figured she’d already know, or at least she’d be able to read up about it if she didn’t. with all the books in that library, there had to be at least one on his situation, right?aka: subaru comes out, in a sense. (trans! subaru)
Relationships: Beatrice & Natsuki Subaru, Emilia & Natsuki Subaru, Felix Argyle | Ferris & Natsuki Subaru, Julius Juukulius | Julius Euclius & Natsuki Subaru, Natsuki Subaru & Everyone, Natsuki Subaru & Ram, Natsuki Subaru & Reinhard Van Astrea, Natsuki Subaru & Rem, Natsuki Subaru & Roswaal L Mathers
Comments: 16
Kudos: 38





	this is home

Beatrice was the first one he told, of course. He figured she’d already know, or at least she’d be able to read up about it if she didn’t. With all the books in that library, there had to be at least one on his situation, right?

“I don’t see you any differently, I suppose,” she had responded when he told her, and it had made him grin.

“Thanks, Baeko.”

Roswaal just seemed to know, in that peculiar way of his. He never told Subaru outright, either - but the robe on Subaru’s bed was always a big bigger in the chest area, he emphasized the -kun in Subaru-kun, and his eyes never strayed from Subaru’s when they ended up sharing a bath.

Subaru told him once, offhand, that he appreciated it. Roswaal had just smiled and said he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.

Ram was next. She was as casual about it as one could be.

“Ok, and what does that have to do with anything? Get back to your work, Barusu.” But she always made sure to smack him when he had been wearing his binder for too long.

He’d already told Rem - he’d had to, when she was tailoring his suit. She’d simply smiled and nodded.

When they were in the capital - when they went for the Royal Selection - Felix had to be notified. They needed to know the innerworkings of Subaru’s body for the best results, and they’d been unabashedly kind about the whole thing.

“I know how mew feel, Subaru-kun. Don’t worry, I won’t tell~” 

They didn’t, but Subaru did inform Crusch so she wouldn’t suspect anything of him when he was whispering with Felix in the corner. She’d been kind.

Emilia still didn’t know. He didn’t know how to tell her. So he pushed it down, despite how his head screamed at him. 

He sat down with Reinhard and Felt - neither cared. Reinhard was cordial, stating that he didn’t see Subaru any differently. Felt had just laughed and slapped his back, promising that she’d inform Old Man Rom.

Julius found out - or he had guessed. He’d addressed it on the side, on a private morning when they had both risen early.

“Don’t think that I’ll be treating you any differently,” he had said, gazing at the rising sun.

“I won’t, you bastard,” Subaru had responded, grinning at the morning’s beginning.

He’d told some. Others had found out. Every person in this world who’d made an impact on him knew by now - all except for Emilia.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell her - he did. He was just worried that she would see him differently, treat him differently, or maybe even try to keep him from doing what he normally did.

His parents had been fine when he had told them - supportive, allowed him to start wearing binders and informed his teachers. 

(Somewhere deep down, he wondered if he didn’t just lose friends because he was reckless, because he got in trouble, because his ideas were bad. Maybe it was because he wasn’t the girl they wanted him to be.)

It was when he was laying on her lap, head resting on her dress, that he decided to tell Emilia.

“Emilia?” He called up to her, not opening his eyes.

“Hm? Yes, Subaru?” She responded. He wondered if she looked down at him, if she looked to the side, or if she kept her eyes closed.

“I was born as a girl. My body’s one that belongs to a girl. But I’m still a guy. My mind’s male, so I’m male. You know?” Despite his casual statement, his voice quivered and tears pricked at his eyes. He forced his eyes open to see Emilia smiling down at him calmly.

“Oh, Subaru. It’s alright.” She pulled him to his chest and stroked his head. He sniffled, hands coming up to fist in Emilia’s dress. “I don’t see you any differently - you’re still Subaru Natsuki, a male, and you always will be.”

**Author's Note:**

> hi, thank you for reading!! my re zero brainrot has been big recently so this happened! yes, the title is cheesy. no, i do not care.
> 
> this headcanon (i have no idea how common it is) is one i hold very dear to my heart. also i have big love for the re zero cast and everyone's relationships w/ subaru. i'm pretty sure you can tell who my favorite characters are based on their sections, though my absolute favorite actually got a pretty short one!!
> 
> so take this self indulgence and i hope you enjoyed!! comments make me screech happily!


End file.
